is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
