I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
