morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
