Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
