theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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