White coat. Heels.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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