He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
