can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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