you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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