this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
