what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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