1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
