Do you still have your period?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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