So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just had sex bonerless
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
