SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
