There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
