Cold hands, warm shart.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
either way he was missing a nipple.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize
