I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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