just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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