But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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