I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
