how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
