This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
