This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
