Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My butt remains clenched, sir.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
