Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
