Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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