are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
