I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
