I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
