OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
