Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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