Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
