I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
