No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
