Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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