Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
