so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
