He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
