i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
