she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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