Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
