A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
