Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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