Just mADE A PArabola og urine
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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