We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Randomize
