She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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