Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
