Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
