hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
